Cash for Cardiac Arrest

Now that every morning television show in the land has broadcast at least one story on the Bacon Explosion recipe (even the Gray Lady rolled up her sleeves), it’s inevitable that a whole lot of amateur meat eaters are going to try to take this artery-clogging 5,000-calorie bomb on. And the results can be disastrous. The Butcher has seen men spontaneously combust after consuming lesser quantities of lard and fat mixed with cases of beer (and, of course, a small amount of lighter fluid, but we won’t get into that here.)

It’s been called a heart attack waiting to happen. The Butcher Blog would like to take this opportunity to offer cold hard cash —American dollars — to anyone who can prove Bacon Explosion-induced cardiac arrest. The heart attack should occur soon after, or preferably during, consumption. A doctor’s testimonial will suffice, but a video would be nice.

Add a Comment