Hey, Cowgirl

Chick-fil-A, a purveyor of pressed and processed chicken parts, has been trying to take down purveyors of pressed and processed beef with its “Cows” campaign since 1995 — when it ran an outdoor campaign featuring two cows painting the words “Eat Mor Chikin” on billboards. Ever since, they’ve adopted the Holstein cows (typically milk cows which are used for low-grade beef when they run dry) as company mascots. Ten years and going strong, but the anthropomorphic bovines are reaching new levels of disturbing with a give-away calender modeled after “Rolling Stone” and featuring cows in guises as various rock acts such as the white-suited Brisket Inferno or the glam metal Slaughterhaus crooning “Every Chicken Has Its Bun.” Perhaps the most atrocious is the alluringly big-uttered Spicy Skirtsteak singing “Gimme Chicken One More Time.” The whole thing sort of makes us lose our appetites, so we’re just going to ogle the grill-on-grill porn accompanying Josh Ozersky’s truly illuminating “What a Grill Wants” guide in “New York” magazine this week (complete with a thought-provoking heat vs. time comment debate–seriously people, let the man do his job). There could be few better tributes to Clay Felker than being on the cover of an issue with such an insightful (but still really simple, as grilling should be) hot charcoal tips. That’s how we’d like to be remembered.

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