Yep, Somebody Put Bacon in Wine
Check for this one next time you are in the local wine shop — and then smash every bottle you see, so no human ever has to suffer the humiliation of actually drinking it.
We begged you to stop bacon in everything. We pleaded. We said enough. We said the bacon explosion was gross enough. We said stop making other things out of bacon, like this bust of Kevin Bacon made from bacon. We said the candy and gum and toothpaste was enough. We said the vodka made us want to swear off drinking.
But you didn’t listen. You put bacon in wine.