Yes, Virginia, some people should be tased

It’s true, the video of the fan getting tasered at Citizen’s Bank Park was shocking at first. Yes, he goes down like a bolted steer, and it was somewhat gruesome to see. Then we thought, well, there are some people who should be tased, deserve it, in fact. We don’t mean people who run out onto the pitch during sporting events. No. We are referring, of course, to Philly fans.

Which then got us thinking, there are probably plenty of other people who could use a good tasering (though not college kids badgering political has-beens). To wit, our list:

1. Those who order steaks “rare-plus”
2. People who ask the waiter what to order
3. Those who send dishes back to the kitchen consistently
4. People who pant at bacon
5. Anyone who thinks gummy bacon is a real gas
6. An executive at BP for every time we bite into a crab, oyster or fish that could have come from the Gulf but now has to come from somewhere else
   
7. “Celebrity” chefs
8. People who brag about buying ramps at the greenmarket
9. People who overcook steaks
10. People who use gas “grills”
11. Snarky food bloggers
12. Those who feel the need to follow recipes to the last letter
13. People who brag about the gross offal they ate
14. Those who are grossed out by offal
15. Those who text while walking
16. People who walk too slow
17. Kids on scooters on the sidewalk
18. Those who use “ethically-sourced,” “local,” “organic,” and “biodynamic” in the same sentence
19. People who get the words wrong
    
20. Glenn Beck every time he opens his mouth
21. Vegans who try to make you feel inferior
22. Those who give vegetarians a hard time
    
23. People who show up at the Spotted Pig to get a table an hour before it opens
24. Those who write lists of 100 things a server should never do in the Times
25. Bloggers who make inane lists

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